magic of christmas

Tonight while filling the stockings, I was moved to tears. I knew Lillian had been busily filling the stockings over the week with a few items she had purchased for us and some found around the house objects. What I found out tonight as I stuffed was that she had given us both handwritten "letters" full of squiggles and hearts. She gave me a piece of the soap we had made together that she originally told me she was going to keep for herself. She also "gave" me my brown gloves I have been looking for all week. She gave both Paco and I rocks--one of her favorite gifts. I am so overwhelmed by love and gratitude for this child and her giving spirit.

A money job

The picture is of Lillian at the children's museum. She is brushing the dinosaur's teeth. We went down to Indy on the day before Thanksgiving to get Paco's prints done for his citizenship app and meet our friends Wes, Mary and baby Wesley for lunch and a museum date.



Well, Trouble has stayed in the barn, so far. She has not sat on her relocated nest. We will see. We will do our best to protect her, but I respect her wanderlust. I told Lillian I wanted to write a book for kids about Trouble that would make me a million, billion dollars. She said good "then you will have a money job like me and Daddy!" She, of course, has her egg business and Daddy the restaurant, and mom?, what does she do??



Lillian has grown so much lately that Paco and I had to make an emergency run to Once Upon a Child (thankfully they exist) and buy her new sneakers. She has also grown a lot emotionally and developmentally. She knows almost all her letters by sight now. She loves school and is much more socially confident. As last year, she is so excited about Christmas she is going to pop. She has helped decorate due to her fervent belief that Santa's measure of you is greatly influenced by your Christmas decorations.



We will have the La Scala Holiday party this week and she has a $7 (!) party dress. Unlike past years, this budget friendly party will be a carry-in of desserts and appetizers.



I am having a little trouble getting in the holiday mood. I don't think it is the economy, but that doesn't help. Everything seems to be flying by so fast. Everyday Lily and I try to do something holiday related. Over the weekend, we made soap together for presents. That was fun.



I have started a knitting group through GLAM and it has gone very well. We have our second mtg next Monday. And, I am almost done with knitted gifts. I am on the last hat!! After that I am going to make myself a felted bag with Noro Kureyon. Yippee!!

Gotta go, time to wake up the troops. Paco an I are going to take our Lily free morning and buy each other stocking stuffers so we have something to open on Xmas morn. No grown-up presents this year. Thanks again W!!

A Chicken Named Trouble

All our laying hens, 11 of them, are named Charlotte. Just this week Lillian and I decided that one, the hen who is a beautiful silvery white, should be called Trouble. She is the one who built a nest on the compost pile and horded 11 eggs. She is sometimes missing and then magically returns. I have seen her on several occasions slipping through a very small gap between the electric poultry netting and the barn. Lately, with the bitter cold temperatures, she is often missing in the evening and mysteriously reappears in the AM. Over the past day and a half she had not been seen and we were sure that she had been eaten or fhad froze to death. We knew her disappearing act was probably due to a new secret nest. We had come to terms with her overwhelming need to wander and brood and knew her fate was in her own hands. We have searched in the daylight and in the dark for any sign of her and had no leads as to where she was and where she was nesting--until tonight.

I asked Paco to put a heat lamp up in the barn for the hens because the nights have been brutal. He had to walk out to the lean-to in the back pasture, quite a distance from the barn, to get the heat lamp. Back in the farthest corner of the lean-to, behind a large feed crock that blocked the wind, was Trouble resolutely sitting on a nest she had fashioned out of hay. She was alive. This hiding place is quite a ways form the protection of the barn, and surrounded by rail fence. She has had to brave the weather, 3 dogs, and a long commute to get from barn to nest. Woods surround the len-to where she was nesting and our yard is frequently visited by predators.

Paco and I decided that she should be moved, by force, back to the barn. I admire her determination and respect her yearning for motherhood, as well as her surprising bravery and intelligence. She would clearly die if left on her nest. Honestly, it's a miracle she has not frozen to death or become someone's dinner.

The stall in the barn we use as a hen house joins with another stall, via a sliding window. So, we moved Trouble (she had to be forced off the nest), her 16 eggs, and hay for a new nest into the adjoining stall. This way she can still have a semi-private place to set on her eggs as well as warmth and access to food and water. Sadly, Trouble has no boyfriend on our farm and her eggs will never hatch, but we have promised her if she can make it through the winter we will get her a man and she can brood as many baby chicks as her heart desires. My own long and heartbreaking journey to motherhood makes me especially proud of and sensitive to Trouble's determination. She is one hell of a chicken. It was 12 degrees last night. She sat on those eggs, without access to food or water. She found the safest and warmest place she could outside the barn, and she has worked for weeks to build a nest of 16 perfect, yet unfertilized, eggs.

I am so glad we found her alive, but sad that we messed with her plans. I hope that she will like the nest where it is and her wanderlust is satiated for the time being.

A Letter To My Daughter

November 6, 2008


Dear Lillian,


First of all, dear, I love you. I want to write this letter so that you will understand what happened in these days and why it was so important. My sincere hope is that what has transpired now will not seem miraculous or abnormal to you in the future, and I want you to know why it was when it happened. I have explained to you now as well as I can and you have shared in the excitement along with us, but your 4-year-old self cannot grasp it all.

Two days ago, Barack Obama was elected the president of the United States of America. Your father and I very much wanted him to win. For the first time we donated money and time to an election campaign. We are confident that he is a great man who can not only inspire, but has the intellect and moral sense to be a truly great president and lead the American people and the world out of a very dark time. What I did not know until he won, and he won by a landslide baby, was that his victory would shake my soul. I am almost as emotional and joyful as I was at your birth. This feels like a birth. It is the birth of hope in me and in many others.

You and your father are the reason why I am so filled with emotion and joy. I don’t think I had admitted that to myself until yesterday. My wonderful brown immigrant husband and my amazing brown daughter are going to be able to live in a country where an intelligent, inspirational brown man is the leader of this country. It is a new day. The marginalized minorities of this country can step forward and know they are being represented too. I hope, for your sake, you are never president, but it makes all the difference in the world for you to know you could be.

I do not want you to think that Obama’s victory is so important because of the color of his skin. I would not have voted for someone based on skin color, just as I could never support Governor Palin based on the fact that she is a woman. It is so important because America finally showed it could see beyond color, beyond political parties, beyond apathy, and reach for hope. Not only are people like your father and I happy about this victory--- so is most of the world. Today has been declared a national holiday in Kenya, the birthplace of Obama’s father. On TV, we have seen people in Australia and Japan jumping up and down for joy. Many in the world sense that this means an America that can be a beacon again.

Our country has been locked in bitter times. The economy has fallen apart, we have spent so much time and energy accumulating wealth and almost none protecting our planet, and the politics of blame and hate have scapegoated and suppressed the poor and immigrants in this country. It is often darkest before the dawn. Bitter, aggressive, and greedy politics and the complacency and apathy of Americans caused a breakdown of such magnitude that it has brought this possibility. Obama and what he stands for would not have been possible unless Americans felt pushed into a corner. This is not just an election, but also a transformation.

Obama has unworldly expectations to live up to, and he won’t be able to deliver on all of them. I honestly believe, however, that his intentions are real and that he will do the best he can. He has awoken the American people and if we keep striving along with him, a lot can get better. We are at a point, as a country, and as an entire global family, where we must change the way we live in order to save life on our planet. I hope that this transformational change is just what we needed in order to reprioritize and make a revolutionary shift in the way we live. Like us, the Obama’s have young daughters. They want their children to have a home that is safe to live in.

I have hope for a post-Obama future as well. The people who made the big difference in this election, were young people and minorities. Millions of them voted for the first time. I helped a man register who said he had never voted before in his life. He has a black man who was in his 40’s. People stood in line for 6, 7, and 8 hours to vote. Obama’s mother was white and his father was a black man from Kenya. He grew up poor. His story and his words and his intentions have raised the expectations of the disenfranchised and the hopeless. My fervent wish is that his presidency will be a permanent shift in how and who we elect as our leaders and that the people who came forward to help this campaign will continue to work and vote and have hope for America. Your generation will grow up with a whole new set of expectations and understanding of how the world works.

Not only did Obama win, but he fought a tight race in the primaries against Hilary Clinton. In this historic and mind-boggling election, the democrats had to actually choose between a well-experienced liberal woman, and an inspirational man of color. What a choice to have. Cornel West, a Princeton scholar, said that what the country needs now is not a Clinton, but a Lincoln. These words ring true to me. Hilary Clinton would have made a good president and her victories in the primary broke barriers for all women, including you, but Obama will be a truly great president and represents a transformation of not only politics, but of the identity of Americans.

Your father came to this country 15 years go in order to have a real chance to make something of his life. Staying in Mexico would have meant spending his life working endless hours doing menial, backbreaking work without the ability to follow his dreams and make his own way. His story is the story of millions. His story is the story of America. Your birthparents had the same story. Your father has built, with my aide, his own independent and very successful business. He took an idea and an opportunity and has worked harder than anyone I have ever known to attain it. He has done it not just for him, but also for us. We have the satisfaction of knowing that despite the hardships it brings, we work for ourselves. Your father is not mistreated in someone else’s kitchen as many immigrants are, and he has created good, stable jobs for 20 more people—immigrants and citizens. His story, our story, is the American story. This country is great and strong because people from all over the world made their dreams into reality and were allowed the opportunity.

So for the first time I can ever remember, my darling daughter, I feel patriotic. I feel like my country lived up to my expectations of what America is supposed to be. I know in my soul now that your father chose the right country, as did your birthparents, and I am lucky to have been born here.

Yesterday, we celebrated. You had school in the morning and your father was at work, but last night we had an election fiesta. We had quintessential American food (and a menu I knew you would love). You enjoyed cheeseburgers, fries, salad, corn on the cob and ice cream sundaes (you were particularly excited about the sprinkles). After dinner and egg gathering, we played soccer with Tinsel and then we came inside and danced in the kitchen to a Dan Zanes CD. We listened to the lyrics: queremos bailar un dia de sonrisas that translates as we want to dance on this day of smiles. That was exactly how joyful we felt on this day of smiles. You even changed into your pink sparkly shoes. When I put you to bed, I told you a brief version of Obama’s life and election. Then I kissed you as you drifted off to sleep in a new world.

I love you,

Mom

the season of death

Happy Day of the Dead

tomorrow we will be making our pan de muerto and the candles are lit. we will have chicken from our own farm along with mole. our farm's eggs will go into the bread.

at this time when we remember our loved ones that are gone, we have new deaths to reflect on as well. Last Sunday, after a valiant effort that included pumping 3/4 gallon of goat electrolytes into Valentine and giving her 6 injections a day, we made the decision to put our 2 remaining goats down. Thankfully, Paco stepped up to do the dirty work. We still don't know exactly what we were fighting or how we got it, but the best guess is listeriosis. I have been truly saddened by our outcome and am not ready to make any decisions about future hoof stock.

tomorrow we will also get down the special pink box that holds the few mementos we have our our first daughter, Adele, who was stillborn 12 years ago tomorrow. Lillian has already asked about her. she knows that Day of the Dead is a celebration but also a sad reflection.

we had a great Halloween week. Lillian, paco, and I went down to the newly renovated Lafayette Theater for the "Boo Bash" showing of "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown." On Wednesday I got to make a special appearance in her preschool class t help the kids decorate sugar skulls. ON Thursday Paco and I were both in attendance for the class Halloween parade and songs. Friday night we both took her Trick or treating downtown and then I took her out to one of the subdivisions. She was a beautiful Pocahantas and I was very proud of her--she was a brave and very polite trick or treater. This year she went up and rang doorbells all by herself as I waited on the sidewalk.

Today we cleaned up the garden and rigged the poultry net so the hens could get in the garden and have their way with the mushy tomatoes.

Ohmmmm.

http://www.wlfi.com/global/video/popup/pop_playerLaunch.asp?clipId1=3018102&at1=News&vt1=v&h1=Parents+and+children+enjoy+yoga+together&d1=134834&redirUrl=www.wlfi.com&activePane=info&LaunchPageAdTag=homepage&clipFormat=flv

this link should take you to Lily and my's TV appearance for our yoga class.

Yesterday, we went to a local dairy where we got to tour the facility and see a calf being born. We were on a bus for the tour and when we stood up for disboarding, Lily pointed toward the back and said loudly "A Mexican! A Mexican!" Obviously she has been taught about Mexico and is starting to recognize people's ethnicities. We laughed, but explained it os not OK to point at people. Of course, since Lily and her dad are obviously Hispanic themselves, people thought this was cute.

She also amazed us yesterday by raising her hand in a group of 40 people and asking a question. I almost fell over!

About a month ago, we were in Indy at INS to renew Paco's green card. When I was filling out the form I told Paco it was complete except for his Alien number. This cracked Lillian up for hours to find out her daddy is a martian.

Misc

Here is Lily all ready to go into ballet. Good grief! She is adorable and loves it and I am very proud, but I must admit that I was the one mother that would have preferred kung fu and I got ballet. The moms sit outside and can see in via the one way glass. These moms chat about drill teams and cheereleaders and barbie. I knit.

Lillian was going through a difficult phase for awhile, but seems to be doing much better. She has been great recently. She has gone through a big developmental spurt recently as well as gaining an inch of height. She goes around reciting opposites. We were in an art gallery today and she pointed at a beauitful blue plate and said it looked like the MIlky Way. That kid.

Lillian sells our extra eggs and is doing a nifty business. She makes about $12-15 a week. She checks her ladies, all named Cahrlotte, and collects eggs every evening.

I am volunteering tomorrow for Obama. This election is so exciting. I have hope again.

Gotta go---bath is over.

catching up

Now that I am no longer milking and the garden is almost done, I am catching up. I spent the morning hours of Lily being at school, getting through the piles of crap on my desk. I even started Paco's citizenship app. If you apply before the end of the month it is cheaper and you get to take the easier test. Since Paco is a horrible test taker, it seems like the time to jump in.

The above pic is from early summer, but I would be remiss in not posting a trampoline pic.

Things are going well. Construction in front of La Scala is finally done. Our new GM is doing a bang-up job of increasing wine and liquor sales and the financial pic is a lot better. We are and will continue to be very careful---especially in this economy. I find it hard to imagine a way the W administration could have screwed up more. I also believe the only reason that this election is remotely close is due to racism and the high percentage of stupid rednecks in this country. Am I judgmental and a bit of an elitist? Guilty as charged, but I am not STUPID.

Lily is loving school, but her behavior recently has been on a decline. She is the over-tired, tantrum throwing girl that almost always means something is wonky in her diet. I am watching her diet like a hawk and waiting for the storm to pass. We are also talking a lot about patience and how it is just not fun to be a perfectionist. If anyone has ideas on how to curb the frustrations of a born perfectionist, pass them along.

She was snack leader today and we made popcorn balls. It was great, if sticky fun.

I have 4 dozen eggs and my fridge and they keep coming. Anyone want an omelet?

politics and eggs

As the election draws closer, I find myself getting excited. I have realized that if Obama wins, I will be, for the first time ever, patriotic.

I already decided that our little family will have a little red, white, and blue celebration if he wins. The idea of Barack Obama as president is so overwhelmingly delightful. It was announced yesterday that he is ahead even here in Indiana. ---In redneck, racist, backwoods Indiana. Maybe the one blessing of W is that he so totally screwed things up that it made it possible for someone like Obama to be electable. I am going to contact the local campaign and see how I can get involved.

As a family, we are doing a lot better. Things are back to normal. I am sleeping well, my mood is good, and pain is low. Lillian is so happy to be back in school and it gives structure to our days. As far as the farm, we are getting eggs now. It is like a daily treasure hunt. Lizzie is dried off and the garden has slowed way down.

I am taking yoga on Tuesdays and Lil and I take it together on Fridays. Our Yoga Together class was filmed by the local news yesterday and Lillian surprised me by desperately wanting to be interviewed. She chatted away and did not let me get a word in!

Paco has started running again. I am so glad. Proof to me that he is taking this blood sugar news seriously. Also, I made him an appt with the ND to talk about it.

things fall apart--or--finding a balance between blue go-gurt and hand-milked, handmade organic goat butter

well, it's been a long time. for the very few of you who read this blog, that is almost always a sign of trouble. I had a bad spell this late summer. things started getting bad near the end of July and got really bleak in August. I was doing so well that my MD and I made the decision to go off one of the anti-depressants in May. It seemed to go great, at first. Then I started to have sleeping trouble, did a bunch of stuff with the ND to help with that. Some of what we did was helpful, but not great and then things just got bad. I felt like it was nervous breakdown the revenge plus a horrible fibro flare at the same time.

Of course my brain and body fall apart at the height of the harvest and the height of the summer. it was just bad. once i hit bottom and had the sense of how bad it was, i went back on the meds I had been on 3 months earlier--when things were good. that made all the difference in the world, but took weeks. the depression med turns you into a zombie for the first weeks and it is just hard to function. a good deal more challenging if you are milking twice a day, spending 6-10 hours doing hard garden labor a week, and trying to preserve all that food for your family. oh, and, did i mention, your husband is only home long enough to be fed and your child demands your constant attention.

somehow we got through it. It was bad for me, but really bad for all of us. Lillian said to me that maybe I shouldn't have a daughter. that is the kind of thing that makes your heart stop. the kind of thing that makes you feel like the world's biggest asshole. I can't always control my brain chemistry or the waxing and waning of this crappy pain, but I can not overextend myself to the point that the work becomes my life instead of enhancing our lives.

so, a lot has changed. we are no longer milking. 2 goats have been sold. the garden is winding down, of it's own accord, and I threw in the towel on the weeds a long time ago. the big change is the milking. it is incredibly time consuming and demanding. besides the milking itself, there is the prep, the cleanup, and then you have to deal with all the milk. even just milking one goat, we had more than a gallon a day. that is a great deal of milk for a family of 3. i miss it and truly enjoyed it, but value the freedom even more. I am glad we did it, but I think chickens and garden are more than enough farm work for me right now.

we have eggs!!!! we started getting eggs about a week and a half ago. I love having our laying hens. they are so easy to take care of and you get treasure every day. we get aqua, seafoam, pink, and brown eggs from our 11 Auracuana hens. we started with 1-3/day, but have built to 4-6 a day now and soon will have too many to deal with. Lillian will eat as many as I would give her and have to watch her intake.

so, i was in the health food store and saw a pound of goat butter for $6.99. of course, to the uninitiated that seems crazy, but I think it's a steal. I know that about 12 hours of labor go into that butter. If I buy it twice a year so may daughter can have buttercream on her cake, I think she comes out way ahead! so that's the balance i am seeking---no blue go-gurt but also no handmade goat butter.

on the locavore front, we are doing great even if we no longer have our own dairy prodcuts. I have canned pickles, honey-cucumber-jalapeno relish, eggplant caponanta, tomato sauce (not worth the effort), lots of salsa, peaches, peach pie filling, applesauce, pickled beets, and various jams. I am still doing small batches of salsa as straggler tomatoes ripen. I have dried tons of eggplant, beets, peppers, and tomatoes. I have also roasted, peeled, and frozen lots of poblanos and chuska peppers. Plenty of zucchinni got turned into bread and is in the freezer. I will still be doing plenty of more apples---dried, pie filling and sauce. I will make a batch of pear-cranberry chutney when it is time. I have lots of triamble pumpkins to bake and freeze. we have both a 1/4 beef, and half a hog on the way for the freezer and 10 chickens alrwady in there (from our own backyard). not bad.

A Trying week

Well, I don't know where to start. It has been a busy, hectic and rough week. I am having a big Fibro flare which just makes everything hard. I apologized to Lillian today and tried to explain that my whole body hurts and I can't sleep well and it makes me cranky.

She is processing a lot right now and is a bit cranky herself. In the past week, she has prompted in-depth conversations about mortality and how life began----not her life, but life in general. At bedtime in Saturday, she asked me if Paco and I would die and whether she would die. I told her the truth and she cried and asked lots of questions. We talked about bodies and souls and reincarnation and burial. She has been very clingy, acting out, and terrified to sleep in her own room since this conversation. Paco and I told her that we understand that these are hard things to think about and may feel scary and if she has any questions, she should just ask us. We also told her she can sleep downstairs for awhile until she is not so scared. That helped a lot.

Tonight at dinner she asked me "if nobody was here, who grew us?" After a few clarifying questions, I determined she was asking how people came into being. Wooooo...first death and a few days later she slaps me with THE BIG QUESTION. I explained the concept of God as simply as I could and told her that whatever began the first life--even if that was just a little fish or a plant, it was something amazing and mysterious. She seemed satisfied for the time being and we did not go into evolution. The poor child has just discovered she and her family will die, I don't think I can hit her with her primate past right now.

Of course, Paco is still working doubles so I am dealing with all this, the pain, the farm, and bushels of produce alone and sometimes I just want to get in the car and drive away.----to a place with plush robes, a masseuse, and sparkling water.

A little comic relief---Lillian accosted Paco getting out of the shower (something he hates because she points and says --I see your winky!) and says to him "just so you know, you need to be more careful about not taking all the blankets at night. You try to wrap yourself like an enchilada and we get cold. Please try to stop this. Thanks.

Dog Days of Summer

Pictures are of Lillian dressed up "fancy" like Fancy Nancy, Lillian holding a handful of Mexican Sour Gherkins (ie Mouse Melons) from the garden, and Lillian after she has smeared avocado all over her face.

These are the dog days of summer. WE have been 90+ all week. The upside is the pool is 86-90 degrees all the time. We have spent our days playing and working. Lillian and I are still enjoying playgroups, yoga, and library programs. I try to get something fro the garden preserved in some fashion every day. Today my goal is eggplant. I think my attempt will be to dry the big ones and roast the pintung for dinner. I have 100's of tomatoes out there, but so far have had only 2 ripe ones. The cold spring has those heat lovers pushed back. Lillian and I picked a quarter bushel of tomatillos that I canned into salsa yesterday. There are 4 times that more coming. Salsa verde and chili verde is something that we can almost not have enough of.

My health is good--much better. Lillian and Paco have colds right now and I don't----completely MIRACULOUS!!! I am still not sleeping great and am having some digestive upset, but have some a long, long way. I did return to Zyrtec, due to headaches, but am not taking singulair or anything else for allergies/asthma. I am having a good summer and dread that it is flying past so fast.

Construction in front of La Scala is the blight on our summer. It is AWFUL and we are in dire financial starights. We will persevere, I know but it is really awful. Paco is working every night but Thursday, which makes extra long days for me too. I am so looking forward to Purdue being back in session and the sidewalk being done.

Beware what you plant, it may grow

The family reunion is over now and was a great success. It was hard to say goodbye to my family. I desperately want my parents to move here, but I don't think it is in the cards--at least not anytime soon.

Now that family has come and gone, I am dealing day and night with the fruits of my labor--I should say--meat, veggies, and milk of my labors. Honestly, I am afraid of my garden. Everything is growing like crazy. The squash vines will soon be coming in my bedroom window at night to strangle me. Cucumbers have gone insane. I have already made more pickles than we will ever eat and I have another planting coming on. Zucchini are pouring in and I have already harvested zuchinno ramipicante---the horn shaped Italian heirloom. I harvested the first tomatoes today--green sausage. I am not too impressed with them. I am battling potato beetles, but insect pressure has been low otherwise. Garlic is all curing. I am harvesting carrots as we can use them and a few onions too. The weeds are out of control in the raspberries. Eggplants are forming fruits like crazy and I have harvested a few. I have a large amount of poblanos already and some bell peppers. My beets are huge. I am trying some in the dehydrator. I also dried some of the squash and am pleased with the results--good for soups and casseroles. Frozen squash is abysmal. ooh, I almost forgot the mouse melons--Mexican Sour Gherkins--they are amazingly cute and delicous. Lillian eats all I can harvest. I will defintely grow them again, but in a raised bed or container, they are so tiny they get lost.

I have put up cherry, strawberry, raspberry, and currant jam--all made with agave nectar instead of sugar. I am making cheese for aging as milk accumulates. Dad helped me make Havarti last week and I made Gouda yesterday. All 14 Mr. Dinner's are in the freezer. Paco and I did one and it took an hour. A week later, Paco hired our dishwasher, Felix, to help him with the other 13 which were processed in the matter of 3 hours!! Felix grew up in the chicken business in Mexico. The first Mr. Dinner was turned into a Mexican-style Chicken soup today with our home grown carrots, squash, onions, cilantro, and garlic. How is that for local eating? Lillian just said we did a great job--"Mr. Dinner tastes just like regular chicken." If my calculations are right, we should be getting eggs from the Charlottes by the end of the month. Yippee!!

Lillian is having a great summer. She was thrilled to have a week of 24/7 playmates in her 4 cousins. her and Tory's birthday celebration was great and we took everyone to Indiana Beach on Tuesday. She was not the daredevil of last year, but did have great fun shooting water at Grampy, Sky, Tory, and Daddy and riding the Ferris wheel with Grampy and Daddy. Mom and I kept our feet firmly on the ground. Paco missed the boat, literally, while Mom, Dad, Lily, and I took a tour on Lake Shafer.

my little zookeeper

Lillian finished her 2nd bout of zoo camp today. The picture is of her holding an armadillo. She did great and has demonstarted for us her armadillo defense pose. She said it is armadillo yoga.

In other news, I cannot locate my Ipod. I think I will hyperventilate.

Also, I have woken up at 4 am for the past 2 days in a row. I miss remeron. This morning, I said forget this and went to the kitchen and took a muscle relaxer.

What herbivore do I look like?

All signs point to it being garlic harvest time. Lillian and I dug a few bulbs yesterday to make sure. Lillian was "using up all her might" clawing the sun baked earth away from one with her hands and said"what herbivore do I look like mom?"

After congratulating her on her vocab, I took a few stabs at it and she finally told me she was a squirrel---(technically an omnivore I believe.)

If that wasn't enough (and it was), we pulled a baby "cosmic purple" carrot out of the ground to check our progress and she wanted to eat it beofre I could even wash it off with the hose!

There are many times a week when I wonder what I was thinking starting a farm and then I have experiences like the ones above and I know exactly why. It makes it all worth it.

It was just about a year ago while listenin to Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle that I decided to take this on. Now we have 4 goats, 27 chickens, and a huge garden. It is a hellacious amount of work and I have developed muscles I haven't had for years. It's crazy, but I love it.

Lillian is now the proud owner of her own yoga mat and Yoga Pretzels card deck. We do yoga together 3-4 times a week. The card deck is awesome and I highly recommend it.

Boogie Woogie

I bought sour cherries at the Farmer's Market this morning with the idea of making a batch of jam and a pie for the freezer. I stopped at Payless for sugar-free pectin. After I spent 1 1/2 hours pitting cherries, I found out that the sure-jel sugar free brand only works with splenda or sugar. Crappo! I used sugar and made the reduced sugar version. Note to self and others interested in making jam or jelly without refined sugar---use the ball brand. They have you use apple juice and no additional sweetener or an alternative sweetener. I use agave nectar and the results have been great!!

Lizzie's feet are doing much better and the process is getting easier too. She doesn't like it, but will tolerate me holding one hoof at a time first in Epsom salts and then in antibiotic baths. She seems to know it is helping.

Lillian is going great, although she is getting dark circles under her eyes and I wonder if she is going to get sick. We had playgroup, yoga, and our weekly sushi lunch yesterday. She is a natural yogi. It is a great class. Our teacher, Suni, is from Puerto Rico and told us she organizes a Spanish speaking play group and asked us to come. She also runs a local mom's group that organizes lots of activities. Hopefully, it will not be like Mom's Club---way too blond, suburban, and pink!!! Since she teaches yoga and is from PR I hold out as lot of hope. And she has a 4 year old named Sebastian. Lily and I have one week of yoga left, but we signed up for another month session. It has been a great class.

I am still sleeping very poorly. I call the ND and the MD to get their opinions on what to do.
ND--continue the seditol plus herbal blend over the weekend and see how it goes, Monday she will prescribe an extended release melatonin.
MD--wanted me to try trazodone. After researching this I decided no way. Some studies say it is tumor causing. give me a break. get good sleep so I can die prematurely of cancer??

Needless to say, I will wait for melatonin and hope that helps.

The video is of Lillian dancing at La Scala. It was the grand opening of the bar and Lillian had an absolutely fantastic time. The musician is Joe Young.

cucumbers!!

Night before last, Lillian had the first cucumber right out of the garden. We are growing an heirloom variety called mini white and they are delicious. There was another yesterday, so mom got a taste too. We will soon have a steady little crop.

Lizzie, our milking doe has an infection on her feet. One foot is pretty bad. I had been cleaning and disinfecting daily with a little success, but things got worse quickly and Dr. Alinovi paid us a visit yesterday. Now, before milking I am soaking each hoof in epsom salts and then in an antibiotic bath. It is a big pain in the butt, but I am so glad it is helping her. By doing the topical soaks, we get to keep our milk. An antibiotic shot would have meant 28 days off milk. I hope this works.

We are gearing up for the family reunion. 17 people for 4 days and 9 for 7 days. I have a menu and have a few things in the freezer already. Lillian is very excited. She is overjoyed at 4 cousins who will want to play, jump, and swim as much as she does.

My health is better in general. I am finally being treated for hypothyroidism and it has helped a great deal. I had to give my MD and ultimatum--treat me or I am leaving. I have gone off the remeron (anti-depressant that helped with sleep also). I have also stopped taking Singulair. Life without remeron is good in that I have already lost 5 pounds in 3 weeks (it heightens appetite greatly), but my sleep is suffering a lot. I still take zanaflex that gets me to sleep, but I sleep very poorly after the first few hours. I am trying some herbal remedies with the ND, but am already feeling the effects of my sleeping disorder coming back. I am especially concerned since I have a family reunion to host.

Ahhhh...popsicle days

I am not a heat person, but since moving to the country, summer has grown on me in a big way. We spend as much time outside as we do in and I love it. Having a pool makes the heat much more tolerable.

Friday night, we were all working in the garden when we heard one of our rooster's make a first attempt at crowing. it was pretty funny. Now more of them are doing it and practice is helping.

One of my favorite things about summer is that Lily and Paco have a nightly ritual of eating Popsicles on the porch after dinner. Lily gets in Dad's lap and they giggle and chat. Mom gets a chance to clean up the kitchen and get the milking tote ready.

Garden update---harvested beets, lots of lettuce, and 2 heads of cheddar cauliflower. Amish paste tomatoes have green tomatoes on them. All the squashes have blossoms except Zuchinno Rampicante and Tatume. Mouse melons are growing well, but no blossoms yet. Mini white cukes are growing great and have plenty of blossoms. Kale needs harvested. First tomatillos are forming and one eggplant has a small fruit. I made 2 batches of sugar free strawberry jam during the storm last night. The sugar free sure-jel worked great and I used 1 cup of agave nectar per batch as sweetener. The yield is far less due to the missing sugar, but now we have a product that is healthier for all of us and mom can eat!!

Father's Day---Lillian made Paco a picture of he and I getting married---complete with veil, dress, and us holding hands. that child is a ball of love. she drew herself in the picture too. She says that she wasn't born yet, but she was there in our hearts. wahhh!

A writer is born

Lillian is actively learning to write her letters and spell. You can practically see the gears clicking in her head. SHe drew a picture last night of herself, me and paco and labeled it dad, mom, and lily. What a wonder. She made it for me to take with me to the movies so I could have it in my purse. What a kid!! I will post it here.





Lily and I are taking yoga together on Fridays. We both love it. It is something physical I can do with her. After yoga, we go to the little health food cafe around the corner. Lillian has veggie sushi. She starts her new ballet class today. It will be closer to us and her friend Julia is in the same class.

Ants in my feet

Lillian was hopping up and down yelping the other night while getting ready for bed. After my inquiry, she told me that she had ants in her feet. She said they were all tingly and hurt. I explained that there were no ants and they were just asleep. She doesn't fully grasp the concept because then she said--oh, because I am too poky getting ready for bed? My feet fell asleep before I did!

we are adjusting to summer and it's more laid back schedule, but we have more work than ever!! Actually, now that the La Scala bar project is done and the house on 10Th street has refinished floors and renters now living there, we are not PSYCHO busy anymore, but still it's a bit crazy around here.

We are hosting a family reunion for a long July 4Th weekend and have a lot of garage cleaning out to do so we can turn it into a giant dining room. Our 4 car garage is MUCH bigger than our house and we can set up a nice dining room, IF we can move out the 13 years of accumulated ephemera and restaurant junk. Mom and dad very nicely bought us an extra fridge for the garage to hold all the food. We really need an extra fridge anyway between all the milk and produce being the fruits of our farm labor.

The garden is doing well. As huge as it is --about 3200 sq/ft, I could use more space!! We are already harvesting chard, lettuce, broccoli, and beets.

More later--Lily and I have to go pick chard for dinner and then take a dip!!

Mom is going to slip out tonight to see Sex and the City. Yippee!!

Farm Days

Well, I have even considered stopping my posts because I am so behind, but here I am. Winter is done. Hurrah!! Healthwise I was OK until January and it has been pretty rough since then.

The pictures are not too recent, but one is Lily kissing a Valentine. Emma and Valentine are big girls now and almost weened. The other is of Lillian carrying the box of baby chicks back to the barn the morning they came. The chicks are 4 weeks old now and we have had only 4 casulaties out of 30 chicks. Lillian is slowly coming to terms with the fact hat some of these birds will be food and some will be for eggs. In the spirit of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle she knows that extra eggs will be hers to sell. She has already lined up a few customers. She is an absolutely outstanding farmer and I am so proud of her. She often accompanies me on chores. She has learned how to milk--especially if it meand squirting the barn walls! She helps feed and water too. Now that the goats are out on pasture, she feeds the kids dandelions while I milk. She loves her chocolate milk and Lizzie mozzarella!

Lillian was very proud to have mom and Valentine visit preschool for farm week. School is almost over now (only 2 weeks left!). She has loved it and it has been great for her. She has really blossomed in the past month or so and is now a little chatterbox at school. We want to keep the momentum going and have signed her up fro dance, soccer, and four sessions of Zoo Camp.

Our farm is really going now. The goats are doing great. We made it through deworming, birth, disbudding and milking in 4 below! The chickens are doing well and almost ready to move outside. The garden is fenced in and I have had mostly great successed with starting my own veggies from seed. Paco gave me my heart's desire for our anniversary--a small greenhouse which is packed full of wonderful things like green sausage tomato, wonderberry, mexican sour gherkins, triamble squash, and zucchino rampicante plants! When you are buying heritage seeds and not just the same old hybrids from the grenhouses, it is amazing what you can grow.

In about 3 weeks, we will be receiving fruit plants---strawberry, rhubarb, raspberry, blackberry, 3 kinds of grapes, and even a species of kiwi! I am so excited--as well as overwhelmed, tired, and sunburned!

"My Body Couldn't Stop Watching"

Lillian now uses this phrase when something is really wonderful to watch--like the parades at Disney World and the Velveteen Rabbit theatre piece we just saw. She also says things like "my body needs a carrot" and "My body wants to stay with you mom"

The picture is of Lillian making a snow angel in our latest snowfall. What a wet winter! We trekked to the back of the property to try out her new sled, but there was too much snow and we got too wet and cold getting back there to really stay long. Once inside we warmed up with some goat's milk hot chocoalte.

The other pic is of Valentine and Emma born on Sunday afternoon-Feb. 2. They had already been born when I got to the barn and I just helped clean them off and brought them in to get warm. We had already pretty much decided to bottle raise them, but when Emma tried to nurse, Lizzie clomped her in the head with a back hoof. Her maternal instinct is zero and she wants nothing to do with them. Our decision was made for us. They were inside in a dog kennel for about 4 days and now they are in the barn with the does. Paco sectioned off a corner of the stall with a heat lamp for them.

Since we got doelings, we won't have to deal with castration, but we are going to have to disbud this weekend. This entails burning off the nubs under the skin that will soon become horns. Sounds fun, huh?

Lizzie is a crappy mom but a stupendous milker! Her milk is still builiding and we are already getting 1 1/2+gallons a day. About half of that goes to Emma and Vaklentine, who are sleek and happy. I have made some feta and It is wonderful!!

Another busy Valentine's Day has come and gone. La Scala broke sales records and Paco and I marked 13 married years. He got me a small greenhouse and I got him a gold bracelet. I have all my seeds and some on order and am itching to get the greenhouse going!

Our chickens are on order. We expect 15 Araucana pullets for eggs and 15 Cronish cross for meat. I am still debating about turkeys. Turkeys and chickens are supposed to be raised separately and that just won't work very well for us.

Lillian, who named the doelings, is getting used to the goats and has been accompanying me to the barn for the evening milking. She really likes that she has milk she is not allergic too and that she can have grilled cheese sandwiches!!

Geek.Farm.Life

I have been so busy and/or sick since we came home that I haven't got my posting done. Lots is happening.

First, we got Lillian's food sensitivity results and a lot of stuff showed up. She has intolerance of gluten, dairy, and soy!! Also cantaloupe (this was very high), hazelnuts (also very high), peas, and navy beans. wow. what is even more amazing is that within 2 days of taking these things out of her diet, she was a different kid. no more crying, tantrums. she is no longer argumentative. she (and we) are so much happier. it is a true miracle. she is taking it in stride and has been very understanding. she even told she she is much happier now. both of her teachers have told me she is a lot more alert in school. yeah!!!!!!

She has shot up recently and is very busy crafting and working very hard on learning to read.

Paco has finished moving the electrical box for the house. He is now putting the wall and ceiling back together. It will be great to have the new dining room for summer.

the other big news is that on Friday 11 we got our goats. We have 2 Nubian does that we have renamed Mabel and Lizzy. Mabel is a young doe that lost her kid prematurely is we are milking her now. Lizzy is a 4 yr old doe and she is due with twins (we think) on Feb. 5. This is her second time settling (pregnancy) and should be a good milker. We are getting a quart a day from Mabel and expect at least twice that from Lizzy. Mabel is very quiet and nervous. But Lizzy is a hell raiser. They came from a herd of 20 and now the very pregnant Lizzy is trying to assert her dominance in the new herd which includes all us humans. She has gotten several good smacks to her muzzle daily. This feels strange to me, but this is goat language. I have to tell her I am the herd queen. Even though I am often milking in subzero temps, I LOVE it. I love the milking, I love the barn, I love it all. And now I have dairy products that Lillian can eat. She can have grilled cheese thanks to my Mabel mozzarella. I have made chevre and kefir also. The chevre was great, but the kefir will need some work.

My seed orders are in and I am working on plans for the chickens and turkeys. We are going to turn one of the lean-to's into a poultry house. We are going to get a few laying hens, some broilers and turkeys for meat.

I am giddily happy with my early farming efforts. I am nervous about our upcoming births but also excited. I just love it!! I found a GREAT podcast called geek.farm.life about 2 silicon valley city nerds that moved to Indiana to produce their own food. They have a "farm phone" and they play and answer the calls on the podcast. Check out episode 102 to hear my goat question. I am sure I will be calling lots more. I highly recommend the podcast for it's entertainment value.

I am taking a nutrition course at Morton Center with Dr. Lightstone. It is good. I know a lot, but am learning a lot too. I found out about agave nectar!

I am taking a mediation class tomorrow. namaste;)

More Disney Pics

Disney Pictures

Yes, we had a great time. Too much to do right now to add more, but I wanted to get these up.