A Trying week

Well, I don't know where to start. It has been a busy, hectic and rough week. I am having a big Fibro flare which just makes everything hard. I apologized to Lillian today and tried to explain that my whole body hurts and I can't sleep well and it makes me cranky.

She is processing a lot right now and is a bit cranky herself. In the past week, she has prompted in-depth conversations about mortality and how life began----not her life, but life in general. At bedtime in Saturday, she asked me if Paco and I would die and whether she would die. I told her the truth and she cried and asked lots of questions. We talked about bodies and souls and reincarnation and burial. She has been very clingy, acting out, and terrified to sleep in her own room since this conversation. Paco and I told her that we understand that these are hard things to think about and may feel scary and if she has any questions, she should just ask us. We also told her she can sleep downstairs for awhile until she is not so scared. That helped a lot.

Tonight at dinner she asked me "if nobody was here, who grew us?" After a few clarifying questions, I determined she was asking how people came into being. Wooooo...first death and a few days later she slaps me with THE BIG QUESTION. I explained the concept of God as simply as I could and told her that whatever began the first life--even if that was just a little fish or a plant, it was something amazing and mysterious. She seemed satisfied for the time being and we did not go into evolution. The poor child has just discovered she and her family will die, I don't think I can hit her with her primate past right now.

Of course, Paco is still working doubles so I am dealing with all this, the pain, the farm, and bushels of produce alone and sometimes I just want to get in the car and drive away.----to a place with plush robes, a masseuse, and sparkling water.

A little comic relief---Lillian accosted Paco getting out of the shower (something he hates because she points and says --I see your winky!) and says to him "just so you know, you need to be more careful about not taking all the blankets at night. You try to wrap yourself like an enchilada and we get cold. Please try to stop this. Thanks.