...when it all clicks. We had a great day. Just stayed home. Cleaned upstairs, made enchiladas for lunch, went swimming, gave Lil a bath, trad with her (Little Critter marathon), worked in the kitchen (made brownies and hung curtains (she played with her little zoo), and then to bed. Completely ordinary, but Lillian and I were meshing so well it was just great.
After her bath, she asked me to rock her oin the living room. I rarely get this chance so I said sure. So we sat in the rocker and watched an episode of Franklin. Out of the blue, she asked me how did you make me?
I paused for a moment and then told her I did not make her. She grew like a seed (I also said flower) in a tummy and then she was born (came out) and mommy and daddy were waiting for her. She asked me if it was my tummy. I said no, it was a different lady's tummy. She asked if the different lady took her home. I said of course not because mommy and daddy were waiting for her and took care of her in the hospital and then brought her home. She paused a moment and seemed satisfied. Then she asked me to tell her again. I did and she said OK.
I felt so proud of her for the smart questions, sad that I could not tell her I made her, and happy with my own handling of the situation all at the same time. I thank author Karen Katz for the "you grew like a flower in another lady's tummy" concept. I am deeply grateful and think it the perfect phrase. I was clam and cool, but inseide I was caught between tears and screaming "Holy Shit!"
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